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I didn't have the time, but I made time.
I didn't have the knowledge, but I did what I knew.
I didn't have the support, but I learned to support myself.
I didn't have the confidence, but the confidence came with results.
I had a lot going against me, but I had enough going for me.
I had plenty of excuses, but I chose not to use any of them.
I woke up this morning for three minutes. I rolled out of bed, put on my slippers, and stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. That was all I could take. I went back to sleep. I didn't go back to bed, I just wenr back to sleep. I slept all day. I sleep most days. I'm asleep when I get to school, asleep when I'm telling the barista which form of caffeine I prefer. It never wakes me up, but I spend $ 3.50 on it anyway. I'm asleep when my professors are talking, asleep when I go to the store to pick up milk. Sometimes I wake up but it's terrifying so I go back to sleep right away. I want to wake up. I want to have a reason to wake up. But it's so much effort and for what? I will brush my teeth before they are clean enough to never brush again. I eat lunch and wonder how much more I will have to eat until I'm full enough to never eat again. It's easy to sleep through routine; I guess that's why I stay here. I wish I could be done with this life so I could finally sleep properly.
I know that I don't own you,
and perhaps I never will,
so my anger when you're with her,
I have no right to feel.

I know that you don't owe me,
and I shouldn't ask for more;
I shouldn't feel so let down,
all the times when you don't call.

What I feel, I shouldn't show you,
so when you're around I won't;
I know I have no right to feel it -
but it doesn't mean I don't.
You know when you're sitting in a train and you look out the window and everything is passing you by so quickly and it's all a blur and it's weird because you're so still but everything outside is moving so fast. That's how I feel right now. I feel like I'm stuck in a train forever not moving anywhere, forever stuck in one spot while everyone around me is moving so fast. They're going places and making plans and doing actual things with their life and I'm just stuck here, in this same spot unable to move forward.
If you love
me for what you see,
only your eyes would be
in love with me.

If you love me
for what you've heard,
then you would love me
for my words.

If you love
my heart and mind,
then you will love me,
for all that I'm.

But if you don't love
my every flaw,
then you mustn't love me -
not at all.
A want a tattoo. I want a few more holes in my ears. I want to travel the world, and I want to wear a dress even if I am not going anywhere special. I want to walk around barefoot in the grass every night of every summer for the rest of my life. I want to be tall enough to kiss the stars, but small enough to crawl in bed and stay there for days. I want to read tons of books, but I want to stay out late sometimes. I want to make mistakes. I want to spend a whole speaking another language. I want to write a book that no one is ever going to read but I want to love it with everything I have. I want to write letters that I am never going to send and I want to keep them under my bed until I forget about them. I want to start over a few times before I get it right. I want to accept my imperfections. I want to dye my hair two different colors and I want to paint my nails the color of the sea. I want to let myself be angry and I want to let msyelf be sad. I want to drive around for the sole reason that I felt like going for a drive. I want to stand on top of the rocks in Central Park and remember what it felt like to stand there for the very first time. I want to write it all down. I want to live the way I want to.
Élet,
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Life is mlaningless without love...

Az élet szeretet nélkül értelmetlen...
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be;
Let the more loving one be me.
Angol nyelvű,
I just have to say one thing and it's really important that you just listen to me. I just... It doesn't feel like this, this thing is gonna go away, it's always there. I can't... I can't get on with my life.
Angol nyelvű,

 

 

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